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| Studio 404: the inhabitant you are looking for cannot be found Image: mtcleroux |
For those of us who live on the Web the three little digits 404 carry profound meaning. Profound and not so good. 404, for the information of those who still wander the material world, indicates an error message saying that basically, what you are looking for can not be found*. To boot, slang usage of the term has evolved to include the meaning "clueless". Hence, 404 is an apt theme (and alibi) for this post, which promotes Le Roux's Law of 404:
Cluelessness is a catalyst for learning.
In a grand gesture of cosmic humour my humble home in Kuala Lumpur is none other than Studio 404. The name has turned out to be quite prophetic: since arriving in Malaysia seven weeks ago I have been virtually impossible to find, dashing from one place to the next in a perpetual motion pursuit of the imponderable. What's more, the transition to a new living and working environment, and the most exciting assignment of my life so far, have been the least of my concern against the backdrop of Life at large. My family's ongoing challenges continue to stir up questions that are too daunting even to try and formulate. Throw in notoriously unreliable telecommunications to Africa, explosive legacy issues in the workplace, my natural intolerance to urbanization and the local predilection for culinary neurotoxins, and things get edgy. Garnish with an attempted mugging where my sheer adrenaline-fuelled rage saved my laptop and perhaps my life last Monday night, and I feel almost justified in going 404. Cluelessness just may be okay. An optimist I may be, but to say this has been easy would be an outright lie.
So how is my cluelessness a launchpad for learning? Well, the tension between being '404' and wanting to get things right is a dynamic one. Few of us are contented with being clueless, and we want something better. Here is how I'm putting my tenure at Studio 404 to use:
Equanimity: A major learning curve has been maintaining equanimity against the backdrop of my personal life, which for all the faith and hope and love in the world is laced with a beautiful pain I have no words for. Where my usual inclination is to see the greatness and power of the individual, I have come also to see the infinitesimal, involuntary smallness of our kind. To cry my eyes out all night for someone I cannot relieve of suffering, and then get up, go to work and focus. Perhaps not optimally, but nevertheless, to go on. Life is for the living.
Common Sense Overrides the Senses: In my humble opinion one of the greatest experiences of being human is the feast of the senses. And a sense to which I am particularly partial is taste. I am almost ashamed to admit the importance I assigned to laksa when deciding to live in Malaysia: it weighed almost as heavily as the opportunity to do what I consider to be my life's work. Food - a 360 degree variety of it, served up 24 hours a day - is indeed one of Malaysia's attractions, and one I arrived committed to explore. Unfortunately most commercial foodstuffs in Malaysia are laced with monosodium glutamate (MSG), a neurotoxic flavour enhancer that reduces (or increases?) me almost instantly to a psychotic, immobile monstrosity of twice my normal size. And that's just the immediate effect: while locals do not suffer these immediate side effects, the long-term effects are clear even among younger people. I am content to consider the early warning signs a blessing and crusade for MSG-free food - woe betide the poor local chefs!
The Real Battle: My greatest teachers of the past week were two young men: motorcycle muggers who tried to steal my laptop, attacked me when I wouldn't concede and eventually fled from my unrelenting kicks and screams. These two lads ignited a controlled rage that I am learning to direct towards purposes that serve my needs. They reminded me that I can be brave and strong. And they gave me a stern reminder that rising before the sun to put your body through its paces not only makes you stronger physically and mentally, it feels incredibly good as well. But most of all, they made me ask the very important question, whether I am in the right place at all. How can I possibly thank them for doing me such a great favour?
404? That's me. But I am learning.
*One explanation why geek existentialism is a tautology that can more or less be taken for granted.
