I am sitting next to a packed suitcase, my online boarding pass freshly printed and foreign expert visa at the ready. Yes, I am on the road again, at least for a while. As my sabbatical comes to an end, I dedicate this post to looking back on what it brought.
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| Life Plan Collage by mtcleroux, 2010 |
The Plan
Before embarking on my sabbatical in July 2011 I went to great lengths to justify what some would call a ridiculously long holiday. To be brutally honest, though I had an itinerary and a few courses lined up, the only real plan I had was:
Re-Evaluate My Purpose and Identity, Personally and Professionally
As later blog posts show, the itinerary and courses did not pan out, but the plan certainly did. More than I could have wished for or strategized myself.
The Reality
Two weeks before departing for India, I received word that my grandfather had had a severe stroke. That was when my itinerary changed and my sabbatical truly began. For the next five months I went to live with my grandparents, supporting my grandfather's needs as well as managing a large household until things returned to a (different kind of) normal.
With everything settled by mid-December, I was preparing to head abroad on a new contract when my brother sustained severe lung and brain injuries in a vehicle accident. Again, plans changed and I stayed with the family as he dipped in and out of a coma. After four uncertain months he surpassed expectations when he started sitting up and looking around curiously. He is now undergoing intensive rehabilitation to recover independent functioning, and making a remarkable recovery to the best of his old self.
The Results
Despite its connotations, the key goal of a sabbatical is to provide a restorative and enriching time of growth. Contrary to expectations (mine, at least), my sabbatical was neither relaxing nor professionally productive. Yet restorative and enriching it certainly was, despite the major stresses that precipitated its course. As an experiment in lifelong learning, the past nine months have been extremely well spent.
What was it that I learned in nine months outside my normal profession? For the sake of convenience I will follow the life categories suggested by author Dr. John F. Demartini in his book The Breakthrough Experience. Here we go.
Spiritual
My spiritual views are deep and strong and fundamentally unswerving. However, the comfort zones of my life have not often put them to the test - certainly not at breaking point. Point-blank confrontation with the life-death tightrope is the ultimate opportunity to walk the talk. The strength of my convictions has been a lifeline. An important shift is that where I used to feel I was on a lonely path, I now know that though I'm certainly not on the organized religion highway, I am not alone.
Mental
As an intellectual/academic/professional exercise I can't boast much about my sabbatical. However, the mental realms do offer other challenges. One is that of everyday problem-solving. Managing a large household with a frail resident over the past months, my problem-solving muscles have started bulging. Among the many "menial" tasks I have done, I suspect my most important contribution was streamlining inefficiencies and basically making things better for our patients, residents and staff. Another mental challenge is that of controlling the mind when faced with adversity. Under the circumstances, of course there have been dark days, but on the whole I have sustained a constructive (if not always sunnily positive) outlook. This is not a matter of temperament (certainly not in my case!) but of discipline.
Vocational
To me there is no such thing as a job. There is only a vocation, and this is always far bigger than one's job and even one's career. Vocational clarity was at the core of my sabbatical quest. Though circumstances elbowed this out to the periphery of my awareness, the step away from my professional focus has turned out to improve my vision and is concluding my professional retreat with a veritable fireworks display. Much of the time I felt professionally paralyzed by the constant stresses and demands on my time from my environment, not to mention the perpetually closed doors of the job market in my home country. In time, though, the good did come.
After my brother's accident I was adamant to establish a local professional practice that would allow me to stay near my family while he recovers. The result is The Living Learning Group, a small educational consultancy based in Pretoria East specializing in educational training and English as a Second Language (ESL) support. This will remain my local professional base for future projects. Meanwhile a phenomenal opportunity to assist with teacher training came my way from a foreign Ministry of Education (more about that later). As a short-term contract, this will be my first major project, equipping me with better expertise when I return to do the same in South Africa. At that point, the impact of having worked with two brain patients will also play a large part in my future work. In short, stepping away from my job was the best possible thing I could do for my vocation.
Financial
For most of us mere mortals, there is a small catch to taking time off work: No Work, No Pay. After six years of supposed hardship postings in the Middle East, I have been blessed with the opportunity (not always seized, I admit) to build up some savings. I had planned for a comfortable six month sabbatical, and came in marginally over budget. The additional months did make a dent, but I am grateful to say that thanks to moderately good planning and free room and board from the family am still well afloat.
The financial virtue of taking time off without pay is that it forced me to be a bit more meticulous about my budget and planning. Family administration problems also encouraged me to set up detailed records of every aspect of my finances, a last will and testament, living will and insurance policies for my specific needs. I even made a substantial investment in bonds and started a new savings investment. On the whole, I feel considerably more financially secure than ever before, even despite having been without an income for three quarters of a year. And grateful to be in this position! Deeply grateful!
Familial
One of the reasons why I have never seriously considered starting a family is the responsibility involved. Well, apparently I was not meant to dodge those responsibilities. I have lived alone almost half my life now, mostly in foreign countries, and living with family was a major adjustment. Looking at my packed suitcases and the prospect of my own little singleton home again, I have mixed feelings. I like being in charge of my own habitat, I really do. But I will miss waking up before dawn and taking my mom coffee in bed, only to sit there chatting for an hour. Having people to cook for (another skill I have been building over the past months). Having a truly loving and supportive environment. Through no fault of my parents, my childhood was not not an easy one. These past months of urgency have mended many old wounds, and this has been one of the great gifts of an apparent adversity. My heart has always been open to anonymous humanity, but this past time has opened it to my own family. It is the first time that I am going abroad rather than fleeing, and that says a great deal.
Social
The demands of my sabbatical time have made a "normal social life" roughly impossible. People my age are generally looking after the next generation rather than the former, while the few die-hard singles are either partying or working too hard to bother. Then again, as a long-time expatriate a "normal social life" has rarely been on my agenda. Still, people interaction has played a very important part in my time here. Managing the household there have been key relationships to nurture - some with my elders, who can be set in their ways to say the least, some with staff, whose role in a large house with two elderly residents is crucial, and many with the public. I have truly felt under grace as my understanding of nurturing relationships has grown. I have made mistakes: a few hefty but short-lived skirmishes, several instances of helping too much and being too nice (a common vice of mine), but I trust my learning far outweighs my failures in this department.
Physical
I cannot over-emphasize how important my physical wellbeing is to every other aspect of my life, and the past months have been a case in point. Naturally, this is even more crucial in times of great stress. I started the sabbatical period yielding to social demands, which often involve delicious food with disastrous consequences. The more I stood my ground and ensured that healthy food was always available to share, the better I felt physically, mentally and emotionally. Others also benefited from better nutritional habits. Not only that, but sound self-care became self-sustaining and even, believe it or not, addictive. Over the past weeks I have had most of my exercise from running around to prepare for this sudden trip, but I would like to incorporate more regular, enjoyable and especially outdoors exercise into my days and return to a brief morning yoga routine which has somehow fallen by the wayside. On the whole, though, physically this has been a productive time.
Conclusion
Was my sabbatical a success? Well, it was not in any way what I expected it to be. Looking back, though, this has been a pivotal point in my life, especially with respect to vocation. I am extremely grateful that I had the opportunity to take the time off, awed that departing from my itinerary would set such a miraculous course and deeply restored to take on new challenges. It is an experience I would recommend to anyone who has the opportunity - and even more so to those who can create the opportunity. That alone is a noteworthy accomplishment.
